Reads and Mixtures
A Music Biography - J. R. Bach
The seventh illegitimate son of Drizzle and C.U. Bach was born in Western Albania and moved to Tucson, Arizona at six months of age with his Aunt Chovee... a distant relative acquired as a result of a lost wager.
An early accident with a cactus prevented one leg from growing as long as the other. It is felt that this condition is the primary cause of his compositions sounding like the beat is constantly turning over. This same condition is most definitely responsible for the text in his songs having accents on the wrong syllables.
His mastery of the two-string guitar has always remained unquestioned along with a vocal trill obtained by using a spur. His ingenious use of tobacco sauce to increase a singer's range and wind capacity remains a cornerstone in the vocal technique classes for western ballads and yodeling.
Having never married, J. R. and his horse Dolly are free to explore the vast expanse of our western states. Many a star-lit night inspired J. R. to write such memorable tunes as: Why can't I find my house?, Oops! It bit me... again., and Saddlebags, Blisters and Leaks in My Memory.
Having lost his voice to a freak accident while artificially inseminating a buffalo, J.R. now restricts himself to composing and his favorite past-time... composting... or decomposing.
Research for this bio was conducted under extreme pressure after leaving the Bourbon Bungalow.