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Week Three of Twelve Weeks of Rising: Permission Versus Allowing Ourselves

The year 2020 is already saturated with people telling you and me what we don’t need: permission. We don’t need permission to be who we are. We don’t need permission to do what we want to do. We definitely don’t need permission to go where we want to go. The world is ours. I heard one woman on a YouTube video say, “If you’re looking for permission, here it is.”

Focusing on the need for permission or not needing permission turns us away from a more powerful effect we can have on our lives. I call this effect self-allowance or 'allowing ourselves'. Women who participated in the last cohort of Loved from the Beginning and at a retreat I facilitated last year pulled cards from a deck. On one side was written “I Allow Myself.” On the other side was “to be” in two places of being. An example would be “seen and heard.”

The beauty of this card-pulling time is that each woman pulls a card without knowing what it says on the other side. Both times, I have seen women pull cards that resonate with where they are in their lives. It’s really cool to witness. What the Holy Spirit highlighted for me the first time I led this activity is that no one needs permission. They simply need to allow themselves.

When we practice self-allowance from a place that is grounded in Oneness with the Most High, self, and others, we open ourselves to the infinite potentialities of our being. We also position ourselves to expand. At this rate, we don’t need to ask for permission or declare our unapologetic-ness. We simply are who we are without words. Verbal apologies are unnecessary without words. Imagine that.

Be Vigilant

Don’t be fooled by people giving you their permission. Be wise. Wisdom is found in the humility of your oneness with God, yourself, and others. To be one with others is to be in truth towards them. To be in truth is to see yourself and them in the light, where all truth is known. Where there is flaw and when there is fault or injury, you see yourself AND them in the grace and mercy of God. To be in truth is to extend to them what you are aware you also need, be that compassion, understanding or patience. To be One is what Jesus Christ represents. Oneness and alignment as John 15 lays out for us is the invisible place from which we most effectively produce.

My Need for Permission

I remember needing permission. It was after publishing my first book, Liberated through the Love of Christ. I was not liberated through the love of Christ when I published. I was still hurting from a fragmented picture of myself, addicted to being in pain, and tethered to other people's opinions of me. (Stay tuned for how God released me from that place in Book 2.)

People saw my greatness and accomplishment. But I didn’t see what they saw in me. I saw myself struggling to get out of where I was spiritually and psychologically. I also struggled with people’s attitudes towards me. They seemed to be a mixture of envy and admiration.

Looking back, I know that the degree to which I struggled with their attitudes was the degree to which I struggled with my attitude towards myself. I had to get grounded in who I was. The deeper rooting came not only in rejecting my need for permission but also in allowing myself to become more of who I already am in God. This has been four years in the conscious making. I do not have it down. I make Oneness and alignment my top priorities and practices.   

What I know now is that there were some key people who helped me to move out of that place. They knew that the content of my first book was a prelude to a larger story.  One of my beloved elders, Reverend Chism of Bay View Hunters Point in San Francisco, told me how he stayed up until 2 AM reading my book. He was fully convinced that he and his wife needed to help me get the messages in the book to more people. (They really did.) The night I saw him at a community event, he held up a copy of my book to his chest and said with fatherly pride, “I am so happy that God completed this chapter in your life.”

When he said that, my spiritual eyes opened. That chapter of struggle was complete. I had to focus on becoming and getting where the Most High wanted me to be.

Here’s The Thing

Seek wise counsel. We may not need anyone’s permission, but we definitely need God’s. He will provide the people to care for you and counsel you in the process. Ask for permission when asking would be polite.

Unapologetic-ness looks fierce. Surely, it can be. But remember, we live in an age where many want to be right but few are willing to be wrong. Be willing to be wrong. I heard Iyanla Vanzant say she was willing to be wrong and it stuck with me. We all need loving correction. Apologize when needed.  

Here are some questions until we meet again:

  1. What do I need to allow myself to feel, see, know, hear or accept?
  2. In what areas of my life am I looking for permission? How can I shift that into self-allowance? What do I imagine the results to be?
  3. For mentoring relationships: Is the Holy Spirit highlighting anyone I can support with making this shift for themselves?
  4. What is God speaking to me about His Word through the Messiah in John 15?
  5. In what ways, through aligning with God in Christ, can I become more of who I already am?
  6. Here are some people for whom I thank God because that they saw in me what I could not or did not see in myself. (List them and why you are grateful for them.)

I hope this email resonated with where you are in your life today. Feel free to respond with curiosities, insights or appreciations. Also share with anyone who may benefit.

Happy rising!

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