Jest a moment!
A man and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on TV. The husband sighs and complains, “This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!” “Good,” replied his wife. “Now you know how I always feel.”
A married couple are out one night at a dance club. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large: break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy? Twenty years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." The husband says, "Looks like he’s still celebrating!".
Man: "Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh never mind, it's too long."
Woman: "Want to hear a joke about my vagina? Never mind, you'll never get it."