As always, I hope this letter finds you happy, healthy, ...and feeling LOVED
(WARNING: Before I go any further, I wanted to just give you a quick heads up - this month's message may be a little heavy. As many of you know, I'm usually pretty upbeat and like to keep things positive. But life happens and talking about it helps sometimes. This month's message deals with grief. If you're not up for it, you're welcome to skip to the events section down below. I won't be offended in the least. And if you're in for the ride, you might want to grab a few kleenex.....)
So, if you remember last month's newsletter, you might recall that I wrote about some of the weird feelings and energy shifts that I was experiencing back in February. I wasn't the only one but I also wasn't quite sure why I was feeling the way that I was. I talked about having extreme highs and lows with diet and struggling to find the energy to do basic things one day ...and ready to hike miles the next. Some things I did not mention were sudden, but brief, hits of nausea and grief....as well as shortness of breath. There weren't any logical reasons for these sudden bursts of discomfort. And they left just as fast as they appeared. My intuition told me that it wasn't a physical health issue. But there was definitely something strange going on. I was told to have faith that things would calm down soon enough. Considering that I am usually pretty grounded and consistent, this was all a pretty big mystery to me until.....
On Saturday, March 9th, we lost our dear boy, Shiloh.
I now understand that my body, my heart, and my mind had known what was coming. It was as if the Universe was almost prepping me for the sucker punch that would strike my head, heart, and gut all at once. Every sensation I had experienced the month before returned in full force. I couldn't breathe, I felt the sickening pain in my heart, my appetite was gone. And all I wanted to do was sleep....as it gave me some reprieve from the intense grief that I could hardly bear. The only thing new was the wailing, the ugly cries, and the uncontrollable waves of intense pain.
I know many of you can relate.
The reason I felt compelled to share this Debbie Downer of a story with you is because I suspect that there is someone reading this that needs to be reminded that they are not alone. Maybe that's you. Or there is someone who is in a different place with their grief that needs to be reminded of how far they've come. Perhaps that's you. It's possible that you're reading this and now you feel the urge to hug your loved ones a little harder today. Give them an extra squeeze for me! I don't always know why Spirit has me word vomit in this way, but I do trust that there is always good reason.
Years back, I had a precognitive knowing that when Shiloh died, it was going to come quickly. We weren't going to have years of treatments, stressful doctor's visits, and intensive protocols like we'd had with our sweet Chalali (my cancer warrior). And my intuition was accurate. Shiloh woke up early that morning, was acting out of sorts, and was gone shortly after noon. There had been no warning signs. He'd been on several hikes the week before his passing. His annual checkup indicated a clean bill of health outside some achy joints and a few minor age related issues. The day before he died, he played like crazy maniac with a puppy in our neighborhood. It was as about as unexpected as it gets. And my husband and I were DEVASTATED. We still are. I am grieving the loss of my 11 year old furry son and it's beyond painful. But I am healing.
Each day, the waves of emotions become a little less turbulent. I am gifted with more and more gaps of time where I feel 'okay'. And in those moments, I am able to find lots to be grateful for....including all of you. I'm also able to see the amazing blessings in that horrible day - that he suffered minimally, that he was able to pass at home, that I had an opportunity to give him Reiki and permission to leave his body if it was his time, and that I was able to remain calm for him when he needed that from me the most. We can all wish to be so lucky when it is our time to go. I am also so thankful that I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he is still with me every day. It may not be how I want for him to be here....because what I WANT is to be able to love on him and kiss his precious, smooshie face. But I find peace in loving him with my heart and knowing that he's with me 24/7. He's even helped me with a few animal communications recently!
I'm also grateful for the outpouring of love from friends, family, colleagues, clients, students, and even from people I don't even know. Each kind word and gesture is like a tiny stitch that helps mend my broken heart. There is definitely beauty to be found in dark times.
This has been a real learning experience as it's been a while since I've had to mourn the loss of a loved one. I think each time it happens, we grow a little bit as a Soul. This time, I learned to allow the waves to knock me to my knees and to experience every tear and gasp for air...and to trust that a calm will return once I do. In the past, avoidance (usually by throwing myself into work) was my painkiller of choice. And interestingly enough, I'm now finding myself grieving the loss of my grandparents and my other dog, too.....as if I never fully did before. Weird how that happens. Or not weird at all. Sort of makes sense, right? I've learned that my tools of music, meditation, writing, gratitude, prayer, and humor are my lifelines. As are dear friends who are strong enough for me to lean on and to listen to me (and for me) when I can't even think straight and have forgotten where I put my light. And I've learned that when I ask Spirit for help, they will get me through the day so that I may continue to be of service to others.
If you're having a tough time right now, know that I am sending a special hug to you and I hope that you are finding the tools you need to help you to heal. One of the things that has helped me is to write my feelings in my journal. And to write a special letter to Shiloh. If you're interested in reading those, here are the links (if you're not...again, I totally understand!!)
To read my journal entry, click here
To read my letter to Shiloh, click here
On a lighter note, I have received a number of signs from my guy!.....
* Paul and I were both flying out (same day, different destinations) and as I was waiting for the plane to take off, I ask for a sign from Shiloh and pulled a card.
I feel like he was letting Paul and I know that he would be traveling with us both that day.
* A after his passing, I was talking to my sister on the phone. She and her partner were on a road trip. Ten minutes after we got off the phone, she sent me this photo:
* Last week, I took a walk along our favorite trail and asked Shiloh for a sign, preferably a butterfly. Right away I thought I was being silly since it seemed too cold for butterflies to be out...so I said any sign would do. Then I stumbled upon this:
Hopefully me sharing my story has helped in some way. I look forward to a happier topic next month! SERIOUSLY.
Sending love out to all those who need/want it and prayers to those who may be hurting today. May you find peace in your heart and a smile on your face no matter what is happening in your world And if you need a place to go to lift your spirits, I hope you'll stop by sometime :)
Here's what's happening at Light Works this month...
To get things started, Joyce will be offering a cool FREE workshop to share her knowledge of essential oils and to talk about the wonderful technique of AromaTouch on April 4th. Sample the oils, ask questions, and learn how beneficial and relaxing a session can be @ Intro to AromaTouch Technique!
Are you a Reiki Level II practitioner who wants to learn more, and possibly become a Master Teacher? Take your Reiki training to the next level with Usui Ryoho Reiki Level III/Advanced Reiki Training Certification class on April 6th & 13th. This is a two day intensive class where you will learn advanced techniques to enhance Reiki healing. This class is a prerequisite to taking the Reiki Master Teacher course (coming in October!)
On April 7th, we'll be getting together for an exciting day of learning Reiki for animals. Join us on October 7th for Animal Reiki Certification class. This special day will combine classroom learning with hands on experience at a nearby farm. Whether you're interested in learning how to deliver Reiki to your beloved pets, wish to share Reiki with sheltered animals, or want to begin an Aninal Reiki practice....this is a great opportunity to jump right in!
Next, I'll be teaching Meditation with Intention...to Connect with Spirit! on April 28th. Want to learn how to connect with Spirit? In this class, you'll learn my method of connecting with the angels, spirit guides, and loved ones...and, yes, anyone can do it :)
And lastly, I'll be delivering messages in a gallery style event at "Love & Hugs from Heaven" Mediumship Demonstration with Juli! on January 23rd. Come out and receive loving messages from Angels, guides, and loved ones on the other side! This is a great opportunity to witness how Spirit works with me to share messages of healing, guidance, and love. Those in the Spirit world are always around and want to help us to heal, to feel loved & supported as we navigate our way through life in the physical world. A mediumship gallery is a wonderful way to experience this beautiful connection.
So, these are just a few of the things happening this month at Light Works.
As always, new things are popping up on the Light Works Meetup page . Be sure to join the group to receive announcements. Stay tuned, stay connected, and stay in touch!
Sending lots of healing energy and LOVE to you all...hope to see you soon!
In love & light,
Certified Reiki Master Teacher, Psychic Medium, & Animal Communicator