When the inner weirdo phase of life is upon us.

Morning, friends!

A quick reminder that it's the last week to sign up for my upcoming yoga series — Illuminate Your Path

I'm getting very excited to share it so we can transition with tender awareness into the months ahead. Plus — lots of bonus goodies on topics like the Chakras and subtle energy, Ayurveda and integrating a home yoga practice into your routine. It's a wonderful group forming and we kick off Monday, April 26 — just let me know if you have questions!

As I was putting together the series materials, I got to thinking a bit more on Ayurveda, and the way it teaches us about the various phases of life.

In Sanskrit the word Ayurveda means, "the science of life" though generally, this healing practice is set in the context of things like lifestyle, routines, diet, etc. Personally, I relate to it as a system of energies, which apply throughout the day, throughout the year seasonally, and as I'll discuss more today: throughout one's life.

In Ayurveda, practitioners refer to three Doshas (which are basically different types of energy) of Kapha, Pitta and Vata.

Kapha corresponds to sustaining, grounding and earth, and relates to the first phase of our lives—birth to approximately puberty.

Pitta corresponds to challenge, transformation, rigor and water/fire, and corresponds to the "reproductive" years of our life—when we build careers, families and what not.

Vata corresponds to expansion, transcendence and air/ether—and relates to the final, wisest stretch of life.

I have never seen it described in this way, but it seems that the Kapha dosha rules our inner child, while the Vata dosha rules our inner sage.

So then Pitta is left — the middle dosha — which is all about change, conflict and transformation.

One might decide that therefore, Pitta rules our inner worker, or inner warrior, or even inner wanderer (don't ask me why this is alliterative, I don't make the rules!!)

However, I have to say that I feel like Pitta rules my inner weirdo.

So, what's the inner weirdo?

If I'm perpetually 5 years old as inner child, and 75 as inner sage, then my inner weirdo is 15: a constant teenager, living on the precipice of new realities every day, a bit rebellious. I find that the inner weirdo is what allows us to shed parts of ourself to grow anew. It's what allows us to try things, and fail at them. It's what allows us to recoil at injustices and challenge them. It's the constant tension of fire versus water. Both can facilitate transformation, but they work in different ways.

My inner weirdo is anti-establishment. She doesn't want to be put into a box, told what to do, or otherwise aligned to Society's timeline. She is resistant, and sometimes she isn't even sure what she is resisting or why exactly or if the resistance serves her, but it feels necessary, and even life-affirming.

Above all, my inner weirdo is in a constant struggle between being understood and being seen. To be seen in all the nuance that cannot be fully understood, even by herself, would require my inner weirdo to admit that even she does not fully understand herself.

My inner weirdo is a walking contradiction, where all the lives that cannot be lived in one life are just duking it out.

If I had to pick a Tarot card to describe the essence of the inner weirdo, it would be the Five of Wands.
For me, the Five of Wands is a card about inner chaos that simply must transpire. It's the tussle between drunken friends who get into an argument, but ultimately leaves them laughing in a heap at the end until one person asks where they should get food.

The inner weirdo lies within anyone who strives to be a parent/creator/dreamer/lover/any identity you can possibly imagine while also being petrified of being that very same thing.

Furthermore, I think we're collectively living through some inner weirdo times right now. Like, human society is going through a strange puberty of sorts. We are finding ourselves, both individually and collectively, and that's a good thing. In fact, it just may be that "doing the work" comes with its own heavy dose of inner weirdo. Weirdo work is work that can't be performed.

So if you feel that, you aren't alone.

The plant at the start of today's letter is called the ocotillo. It's hard to stand out as an unusual plant in the desert, where so much of the life is otherworldly and strange looking. But the ocotillo manages.

Just look at the way it reaches toward the sky and pierces the air with its thorns, delicately laden with green leaves that wriggle in the breeze, ready to drop or regrow quickly depending on the rain. And the spectacular crimson blooms! The ocotillo basically just looks like a towering dead stalk and then spring hits and POW!

Does the ocotillo look like it gives a fck what other people think?

Survival amid harsh conditions has this effect on plants, which is why the desert is home to such oddities. It is why life glows bioluminescent deep in the sea, providing light where there is otherwise no light. And it's how the ocotillo stretches to the heavens for 60 years.

We can probably relate, can't we?

If you feel like you're in a phase of work work work — the external manifestation of Pitta, I encourage you to try turning inward on occasion, and let yourself embrace the weirdness.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: nothing about any of this is normal, so be it.

The world is weird. Let yourself be weird, too.

Journaling Prompt

Do you have an inner weirdo?

What do they have to say about all this?

(They are probably pissed right now, that's fine too.)

Weird and wonderful content 📚

  • Everyone just take a minute from your day and watch these sheep in Eagle, Idaho migrate en masse for spring. I don't see the black sheep, but I'm sure she's in there somewhere.
  • Speaking of work, a new study found that chronic work stress can change our personalities.
  • I couldn't stop smiling while reading about this weirdo songbird they named Homeslice that found her way onto a ship exploring the deep ocean out at sea.
  • Nat Geo Explorer and awesome human David Gruber is doing some v fascinating work on the language of sperm whales.
  • How the poly community is challenging family norms.
Also, do you follow me on Readup? Well, get over there!
Illuminate Your Path 💡
An integrative yoga series to provide you tools and techniques for somatic (body) awareness, self-inquiry and a deeper sense of understanding for how to transition into your next chapter of life.
- 7 weeks of movement classes (Wed at 6:30 PM ET), zoom/recorded
- Welcome and closing circles, zoom/recorded
- Library of yoga nidra recordings
- Weekly "homework" assignments based on the chakras
- New playlists each week
+ Bonus 30-minute Tarot reading with me
Join us!
This weirdo is turning 33 on Friday. I'm celebrating by getting my second jab. Just like with the first, I plan to repeat the following to myself beforehand: I can heal myself, and I can support and be supported by others. The weirdo in us can hold many truths at once.
Forward this to a fellow weirdo.

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