I hope this email finds you well. Here in the desert spring has sprung, the hills are alive, night hikes have replaced day hikes, and I'm composing this note from beneath a pile of used tissues in between pollen sneezes. TMI! 🤧
I'm sharing today's letter with you following a slow-but-sudden revelation. To cut to the chase, I've been realizing that teaching my students and leading movement and other yoga practices to help people find healing and connection feels like my current life purpose.
The big thing is that perhaps for the first time I feel as though I'm teaching students/humans, instead of teaching yoga/philosophies/shapes. This has made all the difference. It's also meant that the "tool box" I'm able to use has broadened.
I've always loved teaching yoga. But somewhere over the last few months I've started to feel like the chipper voice that said, "I'm lucky to do this!" 🥰 after teaching became a softer, "Maybe this is why I'm here." 🤯 It was not an elation, nor even that pleasurable. In fact, this work has gotten a lot more challenging in most ways.
When I first went freelance, my intention was to become a full-time writer. As time passes, I'm beginning to appreciate that in fact writing may be more of a modality than an end-point. I love the process
of writing from the perspective of self-healing, but that is primarily where I connect with it: as a form of creating deeper connection, to self, to others, to the nature of things.
This may not sound surprising if you've been reading these letters from me over the past 8 years, as that side of my life is the primary lens through which I write. But in reality I have been teaching yoga "on the side," rather than as an integrated part of my livelihood, and telling myself, "Hey, look how lucky you are, you get to do this thing you love AND get paid to do it?"
But clarity is a funny thing.
For me it's manifested like this: I moved through the world and tried different things, and sometimes there was a voice in my head that would say, this matters,
while in other moments it would be like, this doesn't matter so much.
That may sound harsh, and isn't to say I don't put my best foot forward in all jobs that I do, but I started to realize where the spark was, and where it wasn't.
Let's be honest, we all have to do work sometimes that doesn't "spark" something in us. I think we would get quite lazy, maybe a little bypass-y if we didn't. And maybe sometimes, it's OK to refine and let certain things go — be them relationships, careers or other attachments.
But for what stays, I think we can make a little friction happen (call it tapas
, perhaps), and a certain spark can form, by acknowledging the connection between how that disciplined effort supports our purpose. This may sound like lying to yourself, but I see it differently. I see it as honoring your truth by folding that spark into all that you do, even in the unexpected, unrelated places. I think this is when some very cool things can happen in the world, when we do them with love and trust.
I have a fair bit of imposter syndrome writing all of this down, because I know how little I know about SO many things, and how much I have to learn, and now I feel like there's even more to learn
than back when this path was more of an escape. I think especially when we take steps toward what feels like our purpose, that imposter voice is going to get louder and louder because we continue to level-up and challenge ourself to stay aligned with it.
HOKAY, all that said, you may be hearing more from me in the future regarding such offerings. 🙏
And ta-da! I have one to share today. It's an 8-week series that I'm thrilled to share that's all about transitioning into ~whatever~ the next several months ahead might look like.
It's called, Illuminate Your Path 💡
I made this series
because in talking to students I'm picking up that this has been a revelatory last year. And I think that there's a tendency to believe that this unfolding you may have had was conditional, circumstantial or based solely on external influences.
And maybe that's partly true. But I would also challenge that to say, if you learned something new about yourself recently, you don't have to let that go because the world starts shifting once again. You're allowed to grieve and reel from the year AND also celebrate new parts of yourself, your desires, your interests, your boundaries, your routine, or anything really that has served you. Do you feel like you have a clear sense of how you will move through that transition? Or do you have more questions than ever?
How do you step into your path ahead, while honoring what you've learned?
This series will be movement based, with some additional guided journaling, meditation and community zoom sessions to learn among one another. Sign up to weigh in on preferred class timing and get on the wait list!
We will kick off on the next full moon of Monday, April 26. I really hope to see you there. Otherwise, be well, stay safe and I'll see you next week!