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"Still love yourself on the days when you don’t feel like yourself." — Lalah Delia

Morning Musings

My therapist jokes that the two weeks between our appointments are like two months in anyone else's life. And ... she's not wrong, there is a LOT going on right now. To be fair, it feels like there's always a lot going on in at any given moment because juggling a full-time job, freelance writing and IVF, which feels like a full-time job, IS a lot -- even without a global pandemic.

A few weeks ago, a Twitter friend was talking about the pressure to finish the year strong and I offered we just focus on finishing because, again, there's a whole pandemic happening right now.

Then yesterday, real-life friend and subscriber (hi, Gia!), told me during a virtual coffee date: "You're doing your pandemic best." It made me smile because yes, I am doing my pandemic best. To compare my productivity and creativity to pre-pandemic times is simply outrageous. I'm trying not to be too hard on myself (emphasis on trying), but I'm often my own worst critic.

Times like these, I'm reminded of the self-compassion exercises my original therapist shared with me in our first session, specifically the one about talking to ourselves as we would a best friend. You wouldn't tell your bestie to "toughen up, stick it out," would you? Or berate them for having an off day?

No, chances are you would offer them some kind, encouraging words. And maybe send them a sweet treat via UberEats. Treat yourself like you would your best friend.



Recently I joined my big sis/friend/mentor Kyra Kyles, CEO of YR Media, on an episode of AdultISH where we get real about being fake, particularly when it comes to imposter syndrome and ways the digital world can amplify feelings of fakeness.

And I also had the pleasure of joining my public speaking coach Rhonda Khan for an episode of her podcast, Oversharing With Rhonda, where I talked candidly about infertility and opening up about life's "messy middle."

Cool Opps

Dec. 2: Trust Your Dopeness: Seven Steps to Combat Impostor Syndrome. I'm partnering with Ama La Vida Coaching for this interactive workshop. (Free)

Dec. 5: Flowersgiving: A Celebration of Love & Community. My friend Vanessa Flowers of Flower Girls Meet is closing out the year with a feel-good event. (Free)

Dec. 10: Putting the People Back in Philanthropy. I'm moderating another panel, this one in partnership with Women Unite! about ways we can come together to make real, lasting change. (Suggested donation, $15)

Links I Love

1. The Year of Thee Stallion (GQ)

2. The Feminist Hallmark Movie Universe (Medium)

3. Love No Limit: The Delicate Art of Healing a Broken Friendship (Bitch)

My Latest Obsession

We've officially reached the puzzle phase of the pandemic over here in the Payton household, and this one should keep us busy for a while. Best part? It benefits the NYPL. Public libraries, FTW!

Now Hiring

  1. Backend Engineer for Somewhere Good
  2. Manager of School Programs and Manager of Education Partnership for Steppenwolf Theatre Company
  3. Senior Associate Editor, Culture for The Atlantic
  4. Communications Manager for Group Health Foundation
  5. Digital Director for Lambda Legal
  6. Growth Marketing Manager for Glossier
  7. Digital Marketing Manager for TechEquity Collaborative 
  8. Managing Director of Illinois Programs for Mikva Challenge
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