One of my favourite ways to help me think clearly and let go of the illusions that can keep me stuck is to journal. I journal with my morning cup of coffee, usually after a period of mediation. Sometimes I just write what I am grateful for including the small stuff. Especially the small stuff. Sometimes I write about any insights I had during meditation. And sometimes I journal to sort through what may be bothering me.
I thought I would share a exert of what I wrote in my journal at end of March, a time when I was aware of how tired I had become over this past winter (note that my kids are 17, 18 and 20 years old):
Today, I am choosing to let go of trying to be what I think others expect me to be (I think it, so it is really my expectation of myself!). I have been living my life trying to live up to who I think others need me to be - for them - for their happiness.
And I am so tired because I fail at it - even if there are moments when I am the person they need me to be (from my perpective anyways!).
Like being the understanding and wise mother who takes care of her kids, who know just the right thing to do, to say when they need something. The one who gives them a safe place to be. Who puts their well-being first, who does the “right” thing.
Is this me? It is who I want to be - but I am so exhausted trying to live up to this and never really succeeding.
What if I stopped? What if I let go of this image of who I think I need to be?
Who would I be? What would that be like for me? What would living life be like if I just dropped those expectations that I have of myself?
I dont’ always need to be the understanding, wise mother who always knows how to take care of her kids, I don’t always need to know what to do or say, the “right” thing to do or say when they need something. I don’t always need to give them a safe place to be. I don’t always need to put their needs first - I don’t always need to put their well-being ahead of mine. I don’t always need to do the “right” thing.
Sometimes I will be these things and sometimes I won’t. And that is ok.
Maybe I could try a turn around - and connect to my higher understanding and wise self - maybe be the one who takes care of myself, the one who says and does the “right” thing when I need something. Maybe I can give myself a safe space to be. Maybe I can put my well being first. Maybe I can do the “right” thing for me.
I continued to journal in this way over the course of the next few days on all the expectation that I thought others had of me and turned it around, let it go, and understood that I am ok. And I can say that I felt that tiredness slip away and have the energy to be the “best” me that I can.
From my heart,
"Dealing with Stress"
Support & Coaching Drop in Sessions with Lisa Kopil
During these monthly drop-in sessions we will address how stress affects us and different techniques that can be used to let go of stress, change our thinking/beliefs about what is causing the stress and bring more clarity, grounding and health into our daily lives. Come out to share, connect, discuss and get a new perspective or new ideas on how to deal with the stress in your life.
Monthly drop in sessions will be held at the Carp Ridge Wellness Center every 2nd Thursday of the month (10:30 to 11:30am) and every last Wed of the month (7:00 to 8:00pm).
Location: Carp Ridge Ecowellness Center (Main clinic 4596 Carp Road, Carp, ON) Fee:By Donation Please contact me for more information or to let me know if you plan on coming out.
Introduction to Meridian Tapping
During this free 30 minute session to tapping, you will be introduced to the basic concepts and how it can work for you.
Session in person or by Skype. Please send me a message to schedule an appointment - contact.